So it’s about time I share some of my testimony since it’s the whole reason for my blog! It begins with me being born into a family of freemasonry.. I think my mom is still abit ignorant of the fact .. but I’m really uncertain about how much she knows. Just a forewarning this gets horrific. I am the youngest of four siblings, and well to skip to the basics it wasn’t until I was four years old that things took a turn for the worst… My siblings and I were the sacrifices of a one husband and father of the Davis family. As I’ve come to know the levels of freemasonry require either to kill or to rape your own children.. I’m not into all the details so I may get some wrong.. but either way I know what happened to me. And that was rape. So proceeding on… This happened at least 9 times that I know of , where my dad would host a party for his friends including a few of his brothers(out of 5) I think 2 of them attended, and we children would be the topic of the event. Where these gentlemen would sexually abuse us one after the other without much break in between. Yes I was raped alongside my two brothers and one sister by multiple men over one evening on multiple occasions. The trauma of these events was so terrifying that it shook my foundation to the core and left me with horrific anxiety disorders and psychosis and multiple personality disorders.. it also caused me to block out my entire childhood (up until 1year ago) and also caused most of my drug abusive years.. so when I was 9 I started using mind altering substances such as petrol and benzine(paint thinners). This also was cause for the dissociative disorders. Life changed for the better when I was 6 my mom and dad got divorced and we moved to the city . This also aided in blocking out the former 2years of events. So now as an pubescent years I began to be seriously dissociated, isolated, anxious, fearful and socially awkward.. you can imagine all the emotions of sexual abuse are lingering yet now I don’t understand where the emotions are coming from because I’m in a numb state I’ve blocked it all out and not to mention I’m hiding a 4litre jug of paint thinners in my cupboard which I’m huffing everyday after school because it alleviates all my stresses.. so I became a drop out kid in primary school.. and barely made it to highschool which I dropped out in the beginning of grade 9 about a month in. Or a week, now my behaviour was a regular misfits behaviour. I was rebellious, very afflicted hateful and angry teenager. So angry I was planning murder and would regularly fight with my family at home… And being naturally well toned and tall for my age I would win the fights easily and gruesomely! So a painful beginning at life I began drinking and other drugs at the age of 13 and 16 started dating a bad boy who dealt weed and was always with abused and rebellious kids..just like me. Not being at school well “homeschooling” as if.. i had all the time imaginable to do drugs and just get up to crap.. barely doing anything constructive or useful brooding all types of perplexing behaviours.. to put it short I became the most socially awkward and confused child in the whole scene of awkward confused nonconformist deviants.. everything that makes one strange I was that. A total reject .. being really pretty was all I had going for me and even that wasnt enough to keep the only guy I’ve ever loved so deeply to even like me though we were dating… He started going for my sister .. so now I’ve got how many broken relationships and a completely broken character all about me. I was in no condition to work … Although this was about the time I had to work to live at mom’s house any longer.. so I tried and failed badly. No comment about how this went .. any socially awkward person will get me but remember I have already developed atleast 10 kinds of dissociative disorders plus usual non conforming attitudes and habits that I can’t talk about to anyone. Ok so now picture it if you can,it was bad. I’m going to move along to where it gets better. So now being in the darkest places with no way out I was crying out to someone..little did I know or even dared to believe I would be heard. So finally I just got fired from the 6th job in 2 years I’m finally broken up with the ex of 6years the only one(since sex was scary for me clung to one heartbreaking relationship)not saying he was the only guy but the only one I dated. Not that that’s anyones business but I’m being very open and honest in this bio.. so it was down to nothing I went on a binge weekend with some random and freaky guy (nothing happened with him jsyk) and came home got riled up with my mom and her bf and they decided it finally enough was enough.. they got me to go to rehab.. a Christian one.😂 Now that was a joke right!
.. it turned out that me being in such a dark place was a benefit .. now who could say that unless you know Christ!
Well to put it plainly I got to a point I realised I’m broken absolutely broken. I called out to God to show himself.. and true as He is He was there at my weakest ..my darkest as the scripture says (Romans 5:8)
So Chelsea got saved shortly after that baptized and all.. it was glorious and celebrated by the Angels in heaven and Christ Himself!! I know God stood off his throne and danced the day away when his baby girl Chelsea Anne Davis first believed!!
So thats how it happened. That’s how my life turned around. A 440 degree turn(that’s 360+180) because I was spinning!
Thank you ..thank you. I know by now your celebrating with me😉 the story gets good.
And that’s right it does get good.. but shortly after a few crap notes.
So what happend after I spent 6 months in the rehab I got out found a job ..live was better than ever .. but I had a psychotic episode (which I only know it as one now) went back to the rehab for 3 months and was boarding and lodging because I didn’t relapse.. and then came out just before December 2017 … was November 16 somewhere around then
What happened next was the beginning of a beautiful journey ..it just doesn’t sound so great at first.
I remembered the horrific past I had.
I was lying on my bed listening to new Christian music that I found and couldn’t get enough of it was amazing music ..it was actually reminding me of how depressed I was on drugs and reminding me of how lonely I’d felt for so long and how I was so fearful. See id been on a spiritual high for almost a year now since Christ and id forgotten the bad days because I felt like I was the real me now. Jesus does that… This is a hectic night.. I go to bed and can’t sleep,still listening to the music something happens… Im overwhelmed with dread and fear.. my dad and two of his friends walk in the door I’m trying to pretend I’m asleep..I’m under the blanket shaken with fear trying to hide my face.
I can’t do it.. I can’t remember alone.. I need help so I pray God if this is real I need help I can’t do this alone..
I feel in my spirit that if I don’t take my brother’s (who just landed with his gf from London about five hours ago) child away from him I won’t remember again and I’ll block out everything and I will continue to be numb for the rest of my life.
So I went to his room and took my niece who was 5months old at the time.
Good news I got caught and God bidded got sent back to the rehab.
(I’m going to cut the story short now)
So inbetween the next 8 months I spent there, on a 2 year sentence, I did alot of healing and forgiving from the trauma of my past with a psychologist and people that believed me and most of all Jesus help, I would say I was 99 percent compared to how bad i was when I first came to the rehab and considering the trauma only just came out now because I was a year sober!
So I really was well off also considering I kidnapped my niece and should be in jail.. but I was let out for a weekend by God’s grace and another and allowed to study at the centre.. I was given alot of leeway and I started to skip going to counselling. Mind you my original counselor stopped coming, That’s I think why I had such little coping skills.never the less I was allowed another weekend and then things took a spiral out of control.. I had a psychotic episode again and i ended up taking my own eye out. It was due to the trauma of my past and drug use and very little coping skills that this happened. And i am now blind in my left eye with my eye ball having shrunk I am now disfigured and facing one of my largest fears because of majorly low self esteem I had a fear of being ugly.. this fear controlled all my actions throughout my drug use years… I would obsess over makeup and the mirror when I was using it was debilitating.
Anyhow now i am the happiest I’ve ever been.. getting a new eye.. a scleral shell – which is a fake eye that will go over my own eye but will look normal. And I will continue to let you know how I’m doing in the future days to come … Thank you for your taking your time to read my blog scripture I have cherished today is John 7;37-38
Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26366B" data-link="(B)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>38 Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”<sup class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-26367a" data-link="[a]” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>[<sup class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-26367a" data-link="[a]” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>a<sup class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-26367a" data-link="[